Akaba, Reira (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
copycatconstruct) wrote2018-12-31 07:16 pm
copycatconstruct) wrote2018-12-31 07:16 pm
[Short Story]
Click. Click. Click.
Reira lowered the phone they were using, looking at the picture that resulted. It had been cold outside recently-- a bit of snow had fallen, too. It made for some interesting photographs, seeing how the snow fell, how the darkness of the evening seemed so bright.
They hadn't been allowing themselves to feel like that-- appreciation. To be able to notice things like the brightness that the snow left, or even that something was interesting. They had felt... closed up.
A part of them still couldn't believe it either, that Yuya had understood and accepted what had happened. Of course, they didn't know about his brothers... But knowing that he, the one who was closest to Zarc in personality and goals, could accept how close everything had come to being destroyed...
It freed them, a little. Maybe not much, but...
At least it felt like they could appreciate pictures a little, again.
--
Reira let out a little sigh. It was cold. Too cold. Before, they'd have just waited until one of the security guards ushered them into the warmth of the LDS building, but this time, they consciously decided to go back inside-- failing to shake off the snow that had started to rest on their hat and coat, until one of the guards decided to help. Small steps, in a way.
Reira was 13 now. But it didn't feel like it, and Reira certainly didn't look like it, either. At this point, kids their age would be getting their growth spurts. Their bodies would have begun development by now. But Reira...
Maybe it was just they hadn't really taken care of themselves really well, despite the best efforts of Reiji and Serena. Maybe their "mother's" actions had a negative effect on their physical growth. Or maybe it was a action brought upon by their lack of self-- an unconscious desire to not grow up into "Ray", in a sense-- but they still were as small as they were when they were at 9 or 10.
... Well, maybe not so much. They've gotten a couple inches taller, at least. But they didn't act like it.
They still liked pictures. They still wanted Nii-sama and Nee-sama's attentions, respectively. They still found it hard to trust other people.
And their patchwork teddy bear was still there, though for a while, Reira had rejected it. It had brought them a sense of security and attachment, after all, and any emotions like that... they were what would risk bringing Zarc out.
After the duel with Yuya though, when they came home... They retrieved the poor bear who had been abandoned in a closet, and had held it close for a long time.
Though right now, things were kinda damp out to be carrying it around. So it was waiting for Reira on the bed, sitting there, as though politely anticipating their return.
It was safety. Security. Something they had never imagined they would have.
--
... Course, in this world, things were a bit different, weren't they? They still remembered it as clearly as though it happened the day before, that their origin was different. Having been found by the Arcadia Movement, put through numerous tests, before finally being retrieved when LDS conducted an investigation on the remnants of the organization...
Akaba Himika, at the time, was already going through the shock of her husband Leo vanishing for some war and conquest through dimensions, and she saw Reira-- someone who was trained to be skilled with dueling, potential psychic ability, and who lacked a sense of "self", as the potential model for a soldier, and adopted the child officially. But Reiji had stepped in and hindered her attempts at this at every turn, even though he had his own expectations and was trying in his own way to stop his father.
In this world, he and Serena had taken it one step further, and outsed her from the company due to her mania.
Reira... didn't have the capacity to fully understand what had happened. Trying to think about it hurt, like a scar that wouldn't go away or fully heal. Sometimes they would lay in bed-- like they decided to do after getting off the cold jacket and hat-- and try to comprehend what happened. Trying to separate the memories... between those of Ray's, those of the old world, and those of this world.
They didn't like the older memories. Ray's were the worst-- even though they had wanted to pass on the wish that Ray had made, they also felt... ashamed by them. By her.
Ray wasn't the most empathetic person. She had ignored a lot of Zarc's problems, and in a way, she had helped cause the catastrophe that resulted. Of course, maybe that's why she felt she had to be the one to take responsibility, instead of her father. And maybe it was why Reira felt they had to seal Zarc away inside of themselves-- so that Yuya and his brothers, and Nee-sama and her look-alikes, would no longer be plagued by the actions and decisions of people from a long-forgotten world.
Reira had been content to just go on with life, not feeling anything, if it meant that they could all put this behind them.
They didn't know or understand why Yuya had remembered anything, though. Though they felt like it had something to do with Nii-sama...
"Really, he is more like father than he wants to be, sometimes..."
Reira murmured that under their breath, as they turned over. Just little things they'd notice, but they'd never say. Maybe one day, they'd feel like they could say things like that.
... Well, it didn't matter for right now. Long as they could appreciate even small things at the moment, or notice small things... That's better than it has been.
Maybe it'll make Nii-sama and Nee-sama happy, if they knew.
Reira lowered the phone they were using, looking at the picture that resulted. It had been cold outside recently-- a bit of snow had fallen, too. It made for some interesting photographs, seeing how the snow fell, how the darkness of the evening seemed so bright.
They hadn't been allowing themselves to feel like that-- appreciation. To be able to notice things like the brightness that the snow left, or even that something was interesting. They had felt... closed up.
A part of them still couldn't believe it either, that Yuya had understood and accepted what had happened. Of course, they didn't know about his brothers... But knowing that he, the one who was closest to Zarc in personality and goals, could accept how close everything had come to being destroyed...
It freed them, a little. Maybe not much, but...
At least it felt like they could appreciate pictures a little, again.
--
Reira let out a little sigh. It was cold. Too cold. Before, they'd have just waited until one of the security guards ushered them into the warmth of the LDS building, but this time, they consciously decided to go back inside-- failing to shake off the snow that had started to rest on their hat and coat, until one of the guards decided to help. Small steps, in a way.
Reira was 13 now. But it didn't feel like it, and Reira certainly didn't look like it, either. At this point, kids their age would be getting their growth spurts. Their bodies would have begun development by now. But Reira...
Maybe it was just they hadn't really taken care of themselves really well, despite the best efforts of Reiji and Serena. Maybe their "mother's" actions had a negative effect on their physical growth. Or maybe it was a action brought upon by their lack of self-- an unconscious desire to not grow up into "Ray", in a sense-- but they still were as small as they were when they were at 9 or 10.
... Well, maybe not so much. They've gotten a couple inches taller, at least. But they didn't act like it.
They still liked pictures. They still wanted Nii-sama and Nee-sama's attentions, respectively. They still found it hard to trust other people.
And their patchwork teddy bear was still there, though for a while, Reira had rejected it. It had brought them a sense of security and attachment, after all, and any emotions like that... they were what would risk bringing Zarc out.
After the duel with Yuya though, when they came home... They retrieved the poor bear who had been abandoned in a closet, and had held it close for a long time.
Though right now, things were kinda damp out to be carrying it around. So it was waiting for Reira on the bed, sitting there, as though politely anticipating their return.
It was safety. Security. Something they had never imagined they would have.
--
... Course, in this world, things were a bit different, weren't they? They still remembered it as clearly as though it happened the day before, that their origin was different. Having been found by the Arcadia Movement, put through numerous tests, before finally being retrieved when LDS conducted an investigation on the remnants of the organization...
Akaba Himika, at the time, was already going through the shock of her husband Leo vanishing for some war and conquest through dimensions, and she saw Reira-- someone who was trained to be skilled with dueling, potential psychic ability, and who lacked a sense of "self", as the potential model for a soldier, and adopted the child officially. But Reiji had stepped in and hindered her attempts at this at every turn, even though he had his own expectations and was trying in his own way to stop his father.
In this world, he and Serena had taken it one step further, and outsed her from the company due to her mania.
Reira... didn't have the capacity to fully understand what had happened. Trying to think about it hurt, like a scar that wouldn't go away or fully heal. Sometimes they would lay in bed-- like they decided to do after getting off the cold jacket and hat-- and try to comprehend what happened. Trying to separate the memories... between those of Ray's, those of the old world, and those of this world.
They didn't like the older memories. Ray's were the worst-- even though they had wanted to pass on the wish that Ray had made, they also felt... ashamed by them. By her.
Ray wasn't the most empathetic person. She had ignored a lot of Zarc's problems, and in a way, she had helped cause the catastrophe that resulted. Of course, maybe that's why she felt she had to be the one to take responsibility, instead of her father. And maybe it was why Reira felt they had to seal Zarc away inside of themselves-- so that Yuya and his brothers, and Nee-sama and her look-alikes, would no longer be plagued by the actions and decisions of people from a long-forgotten world.
Reira had been content to just go on with life, not feeling anything, if it meant that they could all put this behind them.
They didn't know or understand why Yuya had remembered anything, though. Though they felt like it had something to do with Nii-sama...
"Really, he is more like father than he wants to be, sometimes..."
Reira murmured that under their breath, as they turned over. Just little things they'd notice, but they'd never say. Maybe one day, they'd feel like they could say things like that.
... Well, it didn't matter for right now. Long as they could appreciate even small things at the moment, or notice small things... That's better than it has been.
Maybe it'll make Nii-sama and Nee-sama happy, if they knew.